TIANSHI WU (Guest Writer) - Ein Hanes Ni / The History of Us

Ein Hanes Ni: Chwilota Symudiad, Cysylltiad & Hunan - gan Tianshi Wu 

Yn Gymraeg:

Scroll down for English.

I fi, dechreuodd y project mwn gwirionedd yn ystod fy “nghlyweliad” yn hytrach nac yn y sesiwn gyntaf. Rwyf am sôn am fy fideo cais a gyflwynais ar gyfer y project am ei fod yn foment arbennig iawn i fi wnaeth ddylanwadu’n gryf ar fy sesiynau. Ffilmiwyd fy fideo cais ar lan y môr i gyfeiliant cân Coreaidd, ac fe wnaed y coreograffi mewn ychydig o ddiwrnodau yn unig gyda’r gweddill yn waith byrfyfyr. Dewisais y gân oherwydd er na allwn i ddeall y geiriau, roedd yn rhywbeth am dôn ac alaw’r artist wnaeth fy nharo a fy nhreiddio’n ddwfn. Doeddwn i erioed wedi creu coreograffi ar gyfer fy narn fy hun o’r blaen chwaith ac roeddwn wedi bod yn segur fel dawnsiwr ers 6 mlynedd, felly roedd hwn yn naid ffydd ANFERTH. 

Daeth dagrau i fy llygaid ar gael fy newis oherwydd bod gen i gymaint o ansicrwydd ynglŷn â fy nghrefft ac roeddwn wedi amau fy ngwerth. Fe brofais deimlad o ddilysiad a llawenydd ar gael y newyddion fy mod i wedi cael fy nerbyn i’r project! 

Wrth fynd mewn i’r project, roeddwn yn ansicr ynglŷn â sut y byddwn yn arwain y sesiynau. Wyddwn i ddim os oedd angen i fi ddysgu technegau / coreograffi i bobl neu ba beth y dylwn fod yn ei rannu gyda’r artistiaid eraill. Nod y project oedd “rhannu fy ymarfer” ond roeddwn yn teimlo fel pe bawn i ddim yn rhy siŵr o’r hyn oedd yn fy ymarfer, heb sôn am sut i fynegi hyn yn huawdl i bobl nad oeddwn i erioed wedi cwrdd â nhw. Rhoddodd y project hwn y gofod i fi fedru myfyrio a chwestiynu: beth sy’n gwneud fy ymarfer yn unigryw? Sut ydw i’n creu? Sut ydw i’n ei rannu gyda phobl eraill? Fe wnes i ragweld datgysylltiad o ran diwylliant ac oedran gyda’r artistiaid eraill yn ogystal â’r rhwystr yn ymwneud â’r iaith Gymraeg - doeddwn i ddim yn disgwyl iddyn nhw i allu siarad unrhyw Saesneg! 

Fodd bynnag, fe ges i siom o’r ochr orau ac roeddwn dan deimlad ynglŷn â’r ffordd wnaethon ni ddod at ein gilydd fel grŵp. Roedd gan bob un ohonom arddull symud hollol wahanol, felly roedd hi’n hyfryd a phrydferth cael gweld ffurfiau mor amrywiol o gelfyddyd ac i ddod i adnabod y sawl sy’ tu ôl iddo. Penderfynais rannu fy sesiwn yn dwy ran: Sesiwn I: Defnyddio Dawns i Fynegi Emosiynau; Rhan 1: Yr Unigolyn a Sesiwn II: Defnyddio Dawns i Fynegi Emosiynau & Rhan 2: Y Gydweithfa. Roedd y sesiwn gyntaf yn arbrofol iawn - fe wnes i orffen gan rannu darn o farddoniaeth roeddwn i wedi ysgrifennu, ac fe gafodd hynny ei ddilyn gan drafodaeth fer ynglŷn â pha emosiynau a gafodd eu dehongli gan bawb o’r geiriau. Rown i’n awyddus i rannu gan ei fod yn ddull gwahanol iawn ac yn rhywbeth personol i fi, ond roedd clywed yr adborth o safbwyntiau’r artistiaid eraill yn rhywbeth mewnsyllgar a gwerthfawr i’w glywed. Nesaf, fe rannais glipiau o wahanol fathau o gerddoriaeth gan herio’r lleill i chwilio pa rannau ohonyn nhw (eu hwynebau neu gorff) oedd yr emosiynau oedd fwyaf presennol ynddyn nhw, yn ogystal â rhannu cof emosiynol cryf y gallent ei gysylltu gyda symudiad. 

Yn dilyn sesiwn un, cafwyd yr un teimladau â rhai myfyrwyr ar orffen prawf neu draethawd ac mae’n pendroni a gafodd yr atebion yn gywir neu os oedd angen mwy o gyfeirnodau. Er fy mod yn gwybod nad oedd ffordd gywir neu anghywir o rannu FY ymarfer, allwn i ddim helpu â chwestiynu p’un a oedd gystal o ran safon â gwaith fy nghyd-ddawnswyr. Yr hyn wnaeth fy synnu oedd y teimlad hwnnw o fod yn gwbl absennol yn ystod fy ail sesiwn session! Sylwais fy mod wedi dod i deimlo’n eithriadol o gyfforddus, nid yn unig gydag aelodau eraill y grŵp, ond hefyd wrth rannu fy nghelfyddyd - sut olwg bynnag fyddai arno ar y diwrnod hwnnw - fel y darganfyddais, mae’n newid fel y llanw ac mae’n hynod o “reddfol.” 

Yn fy sesiwn olaf, penderfynais fynd amdani a cheisio dysgu fy nghoreograffi o fideo fy nghyflwyniad! Doedd gen i ddim syniad sut oeddwn i’n mynd i’w rannu, yn yr un modd â phan wnes i drefnu’r coreograffi, wnes i ddim dilyn unrhyw gyfrif a symud i’r pwyntiau siarp ac uchafbwyntiau emosiynol y canwr. Fodd bynnag, ar ôl meddwl amdano am ychydig o funudau fe sylweddolais taw dyna hi! Roedd fy ngweithdy wedi cael ei ffocysu ar emosiynau, felly gallwn eu harwain drwy’r coreograffi drwy enwi’r gwahanol emosiynau a deimlais ac y gwnes i ymateb iddyn nhw pan wnes i greu’r darn. Er enghraifft: gorflinder, torcalon, bregusrwydd ayyb. Yn y pen draw gallwn gyfri’r gerddoriaeth hefyd ac roedd hynny’n dipyn o orchest bersonol i fi. Fy uchafbwynt, fodd bynnag, oedd fy nheimlad llethol o falchder ac o gwblhad wrth gymryd saib o fy symudiad fy hun er mwyn gwylio’r lleill yn rhoi fy nghoreograffi ar waith mewn ffordd mor brydferth ….am y tro cyntaf erioed! Roedd hynny’n adeg hynod o arbennig i fi wnaeth gadarnhau fy ymrwymiad i chwilota llwybr fy ymarfer, ei dyfu ac yna’i rannu oherwydd bod gen i rywbeth anhygoel i’w rannu. 

Cefais fy synnu’n arw fwy fyth yn ystod ein sesiwn adborth olaf pan wnaeth un o’r artistiaid eraill ddisgrifio fy ymarfer a rhannu ei phrofiad ohono. Roeddwn dan deimlad ac fe gefais brofiad ymostyngol wrth nodi’r hyn a ddywedodd, sef fod gen i ‘’berthynas gref gyda cherddoriaeth, yn enwedig geiriau” a hefyd fy mod yn ‘’meddwl mewn ffordd greadigol iawn a fy mod yn ymwybodol o fy emosiynau a’r hyn sydd o’m cwmpas”. Teimlais anrhydedd pan rannodd hefyd fy mod yn "creu gwaith yr oeddwn eisiau ei rannu gyda phobl eraill sydd yn creu cyswllt emosiynol gyda’r gynulleidfa”.Fe wnaeth hyn fy nghaniatáu i’n benodol i weld o lygaid rhywun arall sut mae fy ymarfer yn cael ei ddehongli a’i dderbyn. Rwyf nawr yn gallu ei ddiffinio ac adeiladu arno. 

Rwyf wedi dysgu cymaint o’r profiad hwn, heblaw am ddysgu am fy hunan drwy fy sesiynau, fe ddysgais hefyd gan weddill y tîm am eu doethineb, techneg ac ysbryd oedd i’w gael ganddyn nhw mewn gormodedd. Llwyddais i oresgyn fy hunan-amheuaeth, fe ddes i i gyswllt â’r iaith Gymraeg drwy ddawns ac iaith lafar ac fe dyfodd fy hyder a fy mhresenoldeb ar lwyfan. Cefais fy ninoethi hefyd i haenen arall o ymarfer symud drwy chwilota ymchwil a datblygu cysyniad. 

Roedd yn arbrawf wnaeth fy nghyfoethogi ymhob agwedd ac edrychaf ymlaen at ddod i gyswllt â’r artistiaid hyn eto ac unrhyw brojectau eraill yn y dyfodol er mwyn chwilota hanes - ein hanes ni!

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The History of Us: An Exploration of Movement, Connection & Self - by Tianshi Wu 

In English:

For me, the inception of this project actually began not at the first session but rather my “audition”. I want to mention my submission video for this project, as it was a very special moment for me that actually heavily influenced my sessions. My submission video was filmed ocean side, to a Korean song and was choreographed in only a few days and the rest was improv. I chose the song because although I could not understand the lyrics, something about the artist's tone and the melody struck me deep. I also had never choreographed my own piece before, and was inactive as a dancer for 6 years so it was a HUGE leap of faith. 

Being chosen brought tears to my eyes as I had so much uncertainty in my craft and had doubted my worth. It was such a feeling of validation and joy to receive the news of my acceptance into the project! 

Going into the project I was unsure of how to go about leading the sessions... I did not know if I needed to teach choreography/ techniques or what I should be sharing with the other artists. The aim of the project was to “share my practice” but I felt as though I didn't quite know what my practice consisted of, let alone how to articulate that to people I had never met. This project gave me the space to reflect and question: what is it that makes my practice unique? How do I create? How do I share it with others? I also anticipated a cultural and age disconnect with the other artists in addition to the welsh language barrier - I was not expecting them to speak any English! 

However, I was pleasantly surprised and moved by how quickly we connected as a group. We all had extremely different movement styles, so it was really beautiful to be exposed to such diverse forms of art and get to know the creators behind it. I decided to format my session into two parts: Session I: Using Dance to Express Emotions; Part 1: The Individual and Session II: Using Dance to Express Emotions & Part 2: The Collective. The first session was very experimental - I ended up sharing a piece of poetry that I had written, followed by a short discussion about what emotions everyone interpreted from the words. I was anxious to share as it was a very different approach and something personal to me, but hearing the feedback from other artists' perspectives was very introspective and rewarding to hear. I next shared clips of different music genres and challenged the others to explore which parts of them (their face or body) the emotions were most present in, as well as to share a strong emotional memory they could connect too with movement. 

Post-session one, brought feelings a student has after they finish a test or essay and wonder if they knew the right answers or needed more references. Even though I knew there was no right or wrong way to share MY practice, I could not help but question whether or not it was of the same standard or quality as my fellow dancers. What surprised me was this feeling was completely absent in my second session! I noticed how I had grown extremely comfortable, not only with the other group members, but also in sharing my art - whatever that looked like on that particular day - as I discovered it often changes like the tides and is very “instinctive.” 

In my final session, I decided to bite the bullet and attempt to teach my choreography from my submission video! At first I had no idea how I was going to share it, as when I choreographed it I did not follow any counts and moved to the sharp points and emotional climaxes of the singer. However, after thinking about it for a few minutes I realized that that’s just it! My workshop was focused on emotions, so I could lead them through the choreography by naming the different emotions I felt and reacted to when I created the piece. For example: exhaustion, heartbreak, vulnerability etc. I also ended up being able to count the music as well which was a personal accomplishment for me. The piece de resistance however, was my overwhelming feeling of pride and completion from pausing my own movement to watch the others beautifully execute my choreography….for the first time ever! That was truly a special moment for me and only solidified my path to explore my practice, grow it and share it because I do have something amazing to share. 

I was blown away even further during our final feedback session when one of the other artists described my practice and shared her experience with it. It was very humbling and moving to take note of what she said, that I have ‘’a strong relationship to music, especially words” and also that I ‘’think in a very creative way and am aware of my emotions and surroundings’’. I felt honored when she also shared that I ‘’create work that I want to share with other people that creates an emotional connection with the audience”. This specifically allowed me to see from the eyes of another how my practice is interpreted and received. I am now able to define it and build on it. 

I have learned so much from this experience, aside from learning about myself through my own sessions, I also learned a plethora of wisdom, technique and soul from the rest of the team. I conquered self doubt, connected with the Welsh language though dance and speech and grew my confidence and stage presence. I also was exposed to another layer of movement practice through exploration of research and concept development. 

It was truly a rich experiment in all aspects of the word and I look forward to connecting with these artists again and any future projects to further explore the history of well...us!