The Terrifying Beauty of Sharing

‘Close your eyes, and dance.’

I hate horror movies.

For me, I trust my instincts and when they’re telling me to run – I run. And that’s healthy and natural when it comes to mortal danger and unhealthy relationships. However, that ‘get up and go’ instinct can stifle growth and creativity if I allow it to lead my career. So instead, when I feel that shuddering inside and everything in me wants to leave – that’s when I stay.

There is something beautiful in that terrifying feeling of sharing work that, for one reason or another, really matters. 

I shared my work-in-progress 'Seven' at Le Public Space’s online theatre festival – and I was terrified. I was afraid because it’s not only my work, it’s me. I shared something that mattered to me in a way that I never had before. My movement, my words, my story, and my body performing it all live. 

So why did I go through with it? Yes, that’s a good question. . . 

I’m more terrified about never creating anything that engages me and forces me to grow and be better.

I’m more terrified of never again being terrified in my career.

I want those massively aggressive butterflies swarming in my belly before I perform –

I need them.

They remind me why I’m still here. They remind me why I’m not doing something else with my life. 

 I could be anything – I could be doing anything but I want to feel alive and be filled with passion for the work I do. It’s so important to me that I never become complacent and relax into what I’m comfortable with – which is why I ensure to surround myself with passionate and ambitious collaborators to spur me on toward a better version of the artist I am now.